As Joe Sinks Slowly Into the East...

...we bid a fondless farewell to the man who apparently thought the world revolved around him.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, ".on llits si rewsna ehT"\\

Katherine Harris' American History

Separation of church and state is a "lie". Christians should only vote for Christians. God chooses the winners of elections.

Apparently, she interprets American history the way she interprets the validity of votes: any damn way she pleases.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Reply hazy. Ask again later."\\

I Can't Post At Pandagon

This isn't really a post to my blog. It's a comment that I was trying to post at Pandagon, but the connection failed in some fashion. I saved the comment, and I'll stick it here until I can connect to Pandagon successfully.

It's a comment on a thread abour irony and sarcasm, and their (im)proper use.

On an earlier thread, there was much discussion of whether Gen Y was more or less ironic than Gen X or the Boomers, and so on, and I was disappointed that nobody pointed out that irony has always been the primary form of humor and social commentary in American culture, from the GIs in World War Two noting "SNAFUs" to the smart-aleck private eyes of the 1930s all the way back to the 1840s when political candidates were sarcastically referred to as "OBM" ("Our Best Men").

It is true, I think, that sarcasm and irony are a tool of the powerless to soften the blows of the powerful. But there's a difference between being in a position of disadvantage and being a "loser". But one of the things that defines a "loser" is being on the bottom and not trying to get out from under, so if your ONLY response to abuse is irony, then you may well be a loser. Jon Stewart's famous smackdown of Hannity and Colmes was his moment to not be a loser, and he succeeded big time. Our next big chance to speak boldly and without irony is coming in November -- be there.

Sally, re pretending that you like something "ironically", to avoid being stigmatized for simply liking it: that strikes me as an especially poisonous use of irony. It reminds me of Johnny Carson breaking a joke halfway through the punchline, ending on a questioning note, as though expressing shock that his writers would give him such a joke to read. Whenever he did that, I wanted to say to him, "Either tell the joke and take the lumps for it if it isn't funny, or just don't tell it at all!"

KLK, having worked with people with various kinds of neurological disorders that affected their speech, I'd say that it's entirely possible that a person could be stuck in "sounding sarcastic" mode. I've talked with people who could only speak mournfully, or gruffly, no matter how happy they were. And with the best will in the world, any of those grates on your nerves after awhile.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Well, isn't that an intelligent and insightful post?"\\

Oh, Those Awful Braille Signs!

Glenn Beck says, I work at Radio City in midtown Manhattan, and up by the doors, you know, like where the -- you know -- the office kitchen is, in Braille, on the wall, it says "kitchen." You'd have to -- a blind person would have to be feeling all of the walls to find "kitchen." Just to piss them off, I'm going to put in Braille on the coffee pot -- I'm going to put, "Pot is hot." Ow!

I think I've figured out the real problem: Beck feels intimidated by Braille sings because he doesn't know how to read them.

He's afraid they say things like "This Way to the Kitchen, and By the Way, Glenn Beck Eats Boogers".

Now, you may be thinking, "Only a paranoid boob would think that a sign would say something like that." And your point would be...?

Now, Beck could learn to read Braille in about half a day. But that would be work. And worse yet, it would be learning.

Next time you see Glenn Beck, be sure to say something in American Sign Language in his presence, and laugh loudly. It'll drive him crazy.

//The Magic Eight Ball says, ". : . ` : "\\

Yes, There is a Plan B

About time.

And not for everyone.

But even so, thank you, folks.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Better late than never."\\

Worse Than a Crime: a Blunder

The recent attempt by Republican activist Kelly Clark to throw Constitution Party candidate Mary Starrett off the ballot is the worst campaign move by a Republican since Attorney General (and Republican gubernatorial candidate) Dave Frohnmayer had the state police arrest Libertarian candidate Dr. Fred Oerther on a phony drug charge.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "What goes around comes around."\\

Free?

Kathe sent me this, an essay by Bill Noxid posted at Information Clearinghouse. Her comment was "Maybe Hezbollah should handle our next hurricane". My response is to wonder, with my American perspective, whether some document will come out of all this. A few hundred deeply moving words, on a large sheet of paper. But of course, things never happen the same way they did the time before.

The question of every generation of thinking people in every country is “Will there be Peace in our time?” The nature of “Global Community” requires that Man see past Peace as a goal, and recognize it as a symptom.

When a child is born on this planet, his first perception of the three-dimensional world is that he or she is the “center”. All activities in his or her immediate perception revolve around them and their needs. This perception of the world ( particularly in this country ) doesn’t evolve much over time beyond one’s team, community, or country, and as a result severely hampers one’s ability to understand events in the world. Any event that occurs outside of our perceived world that doesn’t support our understanding is deemed “wrong” or a “threat” to our “way of life” and must be destroyed, denied, or converted into something that makes us “comfortable”. This ego driven undeveloped mentality keeps us at odds with any other perception on the planet and by it’s nature denies any possibility of the conditions necessary for Peace.

Perspective is one of the primary components of Evolution. The only limit to Human Understanding is the scope of one’s vision and the willingness to continuously expand it. The locked state of Ignorance in which we currently exist is a self-imposed condition formed from an obsolete and self-destructive fear that being wrong, accepting it, and making the tremendous effort to change it somehow diminishes us. I can tell you in Truth ( having experienced numerous stages of Evolution ) that exactly the opposite is the case. The only thing “diminished” in the process of expanded understanding is the validity of Ego.

The problem we face on this planet is that the “wrong” we have to admit to is massive. It is all encompassing and it exists at the core of our society’s foundation. It is a self perpetuating fabrication that motivates our national consciousness. That fabrication is that Freedom exists on this planet, and that we are the only ones who have it. Neither of those things is even remotely true.

Everyone on this planet is in slavery whether they are cognizant of it or not. In fact it is the very same underdeveloped ability to perceive that prevents Man from recognizing this reality, but it’s a fundamentally simple equation. Individuals in this country ( and on this Planet ) have “jobs” which occupy most of their waking life to produce goods and services for the Institution of the Corporation for generally meager compensation, which they promptly give right back to the Institution of the Corporation for the same goods and services. At best you live in indentured servitude, but in reality you are still on the Plantation.

However, the Slave Owner has learned through millennia of trial and error the value having the slave not perceive himself as a slave. Hence this entire society and all of it’s components are geared to preventing the slave from awakening. Every new meaningless product or coffee flavor creates the illusion of “progress” and keeps the slave occupied. Every “news” broadcast is designed to focus your attention to anything other than the reality of the world and your position in it. The endless series of recreational products and events ensure that any chance of free thinking that hasn’t already been destroyed is lost in some feeble attempt at having “fun”.

So while Americans stay isolated, ignorant, and enslaved, the world evolves without our knowledge. Such a perspective might lead you to think I am a pessimist, but again I would tell you exactly the opposite. My field of vision is much larger than that. For the first time in this incarnation I can see the reality of Freedom in Our Time. While we in this country are subjected to endless coverage of fake bomb plots and a ten year old dead white girl case, the 33 Day War has dramatically altered the Middle East and the World. The slaves of Lebanon took the full wrath of their master and did not blink. This is a powerful turning point in the balance of power and marks the beginning of the end of subjugation. The Lebanese people have demonstrated the power, will, and right to exist not in Peace, but Free. This to the Slave Owner is the most terrifying development imaginable.

What is happening in Lebanon will change ( by example ) a variety of things on this planet that people accept as fact. The fundamental reason for this is that when Hassan Nasrallah says he cares about the Lebanese people, he means it. Not that anyone in this country would know that of course, since mainstream media hasn’t played more than thirty seconds of any of his statements followed by the “white man’s overview”, but if you had the opportunity to actually hear him you would surely know differently. This makes him unique as a leader since there are very few leaders ( certainly not ours ) that actually care for the people they are supposed to serve and protect. We should all be very well aware by now that leaders on this planet aren’t elected, they are “installed” and are there to support the desires of the Global Corporation at the expense of the individual.

One glaring example of this was Hezbollah’s immediate response to the cease fire. Engineers and doctors were immediately dispatched, and registry centers were set up all over the south for people in need of aid. The response was so swift that European aid agency that went in after the cease fire couldn’t find people that had not already been visited by Hezbollah. The aid workers reported that “The people were happy to take the extra supplies but said Hezbollah had already taken care of all of their needs”. Two days after registering, people were called back in and given $12,000 U.S. Dollars each ( the equivalent of two and a half times the average annual salary ), no questions asked. All of this occurred within three days of the end of the bombings. Nasrallah has additionally pledged to not only rebuild their houses, but to build them better ones.

Contrast this with the U.S. response to Katrina. Weeks after the event the most the U.S. was willing to offer these people was a $1,200 impossible to get debit card ( which isn’t equivalent to anything ) for which they have now spent untold millions in tracking down supposed “fraudulent” use of those funds. A year after the event these people are still homeless, the city is still in rubble, and the only thing our government did for them was to stigmatize them for not being wealthy enough to get out of the way on their own.

Which of these responses seems like the act of a terrorist government to you? Unless you’re a fool, you would have to choose the latter. Is that the kind of environment you expect the peoples of the world to warmly embrace? If they wholly reject it, does that mean they hate your “freedom”? If they say “No, you can’t have our land, you can’t have our resources, and you can’t have the servitude of our people”, will you call that terrorism?

I assure you, the awakening is coming. A year from now ( barring the incessant interference from Israel and the U.S. ) Lebanon will be a city like it never was before. A city truly built by the people and for the people. The lie of endless autocratic processes delaying reconstruction all over the world will be exposed as the farce it is and people will have to take a good hard look at who is actually lying to them. If you insist on believing that the United States propaganda is “right” and everyone else is wrong, you are in for a grave and psychologically brutal awakening to your own ignorance. It behooves you to reexamine your perspective while it is still a choice, as opposed to having to endure the utter and crushing defeat of your belief in the Face of Truth.

All is Well in the Kingdom of God…

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Hope springs eternal."\\

Lessons Learned..By Some, Anyway

After 9/11, there was much discussion of how foolish the Clinton Administration had been, pursuing a feeble "police" model of dealing with terrorists. After all, while all of the participants in the 1993 World Trade Center bombing except Osama bin Laden himself had been apprehended, and although the scheme which succeeded in 2001 was foiled in 1995, and although Clinton worked all the way to his last day in office (in spite of being distracted from his job by certain patriots) to shut down the al Qaeda racket, well, yeah, all that, but just wait, you'll see how much better a "military" approach to terrorist groups will work.

After the successful invasion and failed occupation of Afghanistan, some people questioned the wisdom of a solely military approach. After the successful invasion and failed occupation of Iraq, still more questions arose in still more minds.

And for those who really needed their noses rubbed in it, there has been the failed Israeli action in Lebanon.

So, are we ready now to stop playing with war toys and get down to work catching those criminals?

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Some do, and some do not."\\

No Kings

Let's hear it one more time, before it's overturned by a higher court with lower morals:

There are no hereditary Kings in America and no power not created by the Constitution.

For now, at least, that's true.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Well, what are you going to do about it?"

Through the Miracle of Wingervision

Here's a very funny creation which shows how the Right view the world: pass the cursor over each article and photo and see reality transformed into the Rightzarro World version.

Me, I'm wondering what the glasses look like. Do they have spirals on the lenses, or lightning bolts on the frames, or what?

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "There are none so blind...."\\

You Were Saying About Racial Profiling?

Benamar Benatta was seized (he was never exactly arrested) by the FBI on September 12th, 2001, because he fit a racial profile that includes about 20% of the human race.

They knew by November that he wasn't a terrorist.

He was freed this week, without apology.

I want my country back.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Not every journey reaches its desitnation."\\

18,181

Kathe sent me an e-mail, quoting from a blog she'd read today. The blogger claimed that three candidates for office in three Texas counties each received the same number of votes -- an event more than merely unlikely. She sent this to me under the headline "Is this true?"

So, I Googled a few variations, and there it was: 18,181 votes.

So, do you want to get back that democracy you used to have?

//The Magic Eight-Ball says "What you want can be achieved, but it will cost you."\\

Stinking Like Natto

If you are a person who comes by here every few days to see if there's something new lately (which is to say, if you are Peni R. Griffin), you've been disappointed more often than not lately.

I'm afraid that my blogging output has been curtailed lately on account of how my life lately stinks like natto.

I've been very unhappy lately, in powerful need of a good laugh. And nobody was more surprised than me when Kathe sent me a link to the blog Steve, Don't Eat That! and I found out that Steve could make me laugh.

And boy, did I ever need it.

Thanks, Kathe.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "DOn't eat those, man! They'll kill you!"\\

Muhammad al-McGyver

"So, here's the plan: we sneak precursor chemicals onto the plane (we'll need refrigerated containers) mix them in the restroom cubicle (we'll need at least an hour uninterrupted), mix them up into high explosives (all without making one of a number of mistakes that would kill you without damaging the plane)...and blow it up!"

"Is this really the best idea we can come up with to terrorize and demoralize Western civilization?"

"Um...so far, yes."

"I sure hope this scares them enough."

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Use your head, for crying out loud."\\

The Latest Trick From the Devious Chinese

From the New York Times:
..China seems to be offering Africa something new, a straightforward business relationship between equals based on mutual interest and noninterference in the internal affairs of its allies. Or as the economist Jeffrey Sachs put it at a conference in Beijing this week, “China gives fewer lectures and more practical help.”

To which Kathe made the comment: "Geez, imagine Africa falling for *that*!"

Indeed. What sort of way is that for a country to behave towards Africa?

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Some mysteries are inscrutable indeed."\\

Missing Links

The Pentecostal Church in Kenya has a new way of dealing with the evidence for evolution: hide it.

Simply shuffle Kenya's immense accumulation of hominid fossils (the world's largest, including many of the most famous Leakey finds) away from public view and into a back room, where fewer impressionable young people will see it.

Brilliant.

//The Magic Eight Ball is currently inside a taped-up cardboard box on top shelf in the closet, but we are informed that it says "Darwin was wrong!"\\

The Revolution Will (Not) Be Merchandised?

The blog Haiku Politics offers a link to Anti-Capitalism breakfast cereal.

Well, my mind is boggled. How about you?

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Some of my best friends come out of cereal boxes."\\

What'd He Do?

"But what, exactly, did George W. Bush do that you angry leftists should be so, um, angry with him?"

[Sneers, waves hands in air.]

"He did this."

[Hands over a copy of The Constitution in Crisis]

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Next question."\\

More Control

A friend who often sends me text messages, some of them cryptic and some clearly only intended to let off steam, sent me one just now that said, "I need more control over my life."

I replied, "Tell us about it, luv. You need control, I need control. Earlier today I came upon a person smashing the remains of his stereo tuner into tinier bits. He's looking for control, too. All of us here in this handbasket need more control."

//The Magic Eight-Ball is on vacation. Filling in for him is his cousin the Control Voice, which says, "There is nothing wrong with your set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture."\\

I Want My Country Back

And so does the Campaign to Defend the Constitution, otherwise known by the catchy (and all-too-appropriate) name of DefCon.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "I don't know about you, but I'm kind of tired of irony coming this easily."\\

Making Vote Fraud Absurdly Easy

Just follow the simple instructions in the educational video.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Education may leave one wiser, but sadder."\\

National Energy Security and Good Medical Practice

Sound like good ideas to me.

Apparently, they sound good to Evan Bayh and Hillary Clinton, too.

Working sixty-some hours this week, I could use some energy.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Then why aren't you in bed?"\\

Making Vote Fraud Easier

Gee, that sounds like a bad idea to me.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Do the right thing. It won't make any difference, but you'll feel better."\\